Most of us may think we are open to others, but when it comes down to it, we protect who we really are—the type of individual we want to be seen as. We don’t want other’s to see the parts of use we think of as bad or wrong. We are fearful of judgement. We often have experiences where we reveiled things and were judged critically. We play it safe so that we don’t get hurt, but by doing so we also miss the full experience of life. It’s like being a bad actor and pretending everything is how we want it to look.

It is said, “If you don’t want other’s to know what you are thinking, don’t think it.” When we try to wear a shield, other’s can feel it. In order to truly open up to others we have to take off our armor. In order to unlock your blocks to intimacy, we must feel safe. People wear mask in order to protect themselves. People will open up to others who are also more open. If we allow ourselves to voluntarily vulnerable, other’s will feel safe in our presence.

Being truly open is making your outer world reflect your inner world. It’s being congruent on the outside with what’s happening on the inside. For example, if your sad, not trying to “put on a happy face,” but truly expressing what you are feeling. Your face and body reveal your true emotion—people can feel when your covering up deeper feelings, even if they don’t know exactly what or why they are feeling it. Something just feels “off.”

Tips for allowing others to open up:


Be present
Listen attentively
Ask specific questions


Be fearful
Expect anything in return

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