How do you make someone feel comfortable in your presence? How do you get them to open up to you? Women, and men too, want to connect with others. In dating, in personal life, even in business—it all comes down to connection. People want to feel understood and appreciated; they want to feel you know where they are coming from. Some call it being on the same “wave length”—like you are “tuned in” to their station.

One way to make people feel comfortable around you is to find things in you have in common; where you are from, where you went to school, children of the same age, religious affiliations—these are some very basic categories. With every person on earth, just by virtue of being human, you can find some similarity—possibly liking the same food, having traveled to the same place, where you work or hobbies. Even if you have to work harder with some to find the common ground, it is always there.

It is called being in rapport when you share that comfort zone with someone. When they like being your presence; they feel you “get them.” If you can’t think of any similarities, simply ask them for the time. Merely the fact of responding with the answer can bring a person into that comfort zone. Having a prospect in rapport with you, being comfortable with you, makes it easier to close any deal; whether that’s getting the sale or getting the date.

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