The “langue” of love is not only French, but to each individual it is very specific. It may be particular words or explicit actions that show one love, or it could be tangible gifts or activities together. Maybe your partner feels loved when you literally tell him or her “I love you,” or maybe they feel loved when you say “great job.” It’s possible your partner doesn’t need you to speak a word to feel loved; maybe they feel your love when you hug or kiss them. It could be that your partner feels most loved when you plan a romantic dinner or buy them their favorite perfume or cologne. People are as unique in their expressions of love as they are in the expressions of themselves. There is no right or wrong when expressing love; however, some people may receive love in a different manner from that in which you give love, so your awareness will allow you to fulfill your partner’s need for love in a way that will be most cherished.
Typically, we give to others that which we wish to receive. What we need to be attentive to is how our partner receives love. What things can we do for them, or provide them to make them feel our love? It may be as simple as asking them “What makes you feel loved?” Or, it may be watching their actions to establish when it appears they are gratified by our efforts to express love. You could try showing love in words, actions, or deeds. You could try giving them presents, or planning activities together. You can gauge their reaction, or simply ask them how they feel in the moment. Speaking love is fun in any language, but it’s best when it is received and felt by your partner. It’s fun to hear people speak other languages, but we only understand those in which we are fluent. Knowing your partners unique expression of love will allow you to connect on a deeper level.